Thanks, Michael Bay, but…

I think I’ll just keep watching this amazing exclusive preview of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen over and over again for hours instead of actually spending money on your film!  Sorry! I bet it’s great and all but this video is like whoa, blowing my mind! I don’t see how the robot punching could get better than this. All it’s missing is petulant Wii-hater Shia LaBeouf screaming ‘Optimus!’

Sadly, I can’t get into franchise. I narrowly avoided getting entangled in the merchandise as a kid, never watched the cartoon, and left the first Transformers movie with a blinding headache. Plus, I have an irrational (… or perhaps not?) dislike/hatred of Shia LaBeouf which prevents me from seeing this, along with my irrational (… or perhaps not?) dislike/hatred of racism? Which means that as much as I love completely irrational, hyperkinetic violence taken to simply surreal levels, and I mean really, I love Crank 2, I will fight for your right to see it at the dollar theater, please know that, I just cannot get behind the ostensibly amazing concept of robots punching each other.

I wish I could be so excited. Can I still be a real American if I don’t like a Michael Bay movie? Maybe something is broken in me.

Or maybe not.

via Videogum.

fuckin’ metal

For years metal has eluded me: I have tried a number of times to get into it but nothing has ever clicked.  It seemed like a joke to me – sludge, death, epic, space, post, nu (heh), black, doom, power, stoner, prog, thrash, heavy – it evaded me every time I approached it.  Christ, I even like Lightning Bolt.  Maybe I wasn’t ready.  Maybe I’m still not.  But I do know that I just listened to Kylesa for the first time, and I think – yes, there is a tear slowly swelling up in the corner of my right eye – that I might have found a door inside.

They’re playing Friday at Criminal.  I do believe I might pay them a visit.